Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Letter to Cade

dear cade,
you have been having a hard time going back to school after the holiday break.
last friday...you cried as i was starting to leave your classroom.
my heart broke in a million pieces.
i told you to tough it out for a few hours and i would come see you at lunch.
i returned with a happy meal. {even though i swore i would never give my kids
fast food...i swore this BEFORE i had kids.}
you were happy. i stayed for lunch.  just to make sure you were going to survive.
and you did.
we had a fun weekend.  returned to school yesterday...and you looked at me with those
huge blue eyes and told me you wanted to go home.  you were trying to be quiet about it...
so your friends wouldn't see.  you grabbed my hand, with tears in your eyes and said,
"please mommy...i want to go home."
at that point, you pretty much yanked my heart out of my chest.  however, i reminded you that you
were a big boy and all your friends would miss you if you left.  i told you - you were fine.  you would
have fun.  you then went with your teacher to circle time...glanced back at me one more time...and i left.
but.  i want you to know.  that all i really wanted to do was pick you up...march out those doors...
take you to dunkin donuts...and let you play at home.  all day.
but. sometimes we have to do something different than what we want to do.  we have to do the right thing.
maybe, as you are reading this, you are a parent yourself...and you heart is breaking a little...because
some little miniature version of you is looking at you.  with tears in her big blue eyes...

i love you.  so much.

4 comments:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun said...

D too!!! lets pull them out of school, not homeschool them, and let them be dumb and happy together for the rest of their lives!! it must be the big eyes or something, i swear, i just want to let her stay home too!

anna said...

sweet post...every mother out there can relate! Love that you put it in a letter for him. ;)

Tiffany said...

I know that look, complete with big tears and trying to not let the other kids hear them want to be with mom, or see them lose their cool. I was that kid in elementary school!(ok middle school too,lol) It was a bad feeling. Ironically, I always wonder about the kids who love school and can't wait to go and barely look back to see their moms (or dads) when they get out of the car. But I hate that such love of "mom" has to equal so much agony for them. I guess it's all about pushing them from the nest so they will learn to fly...

Rachel, Tony & Family said...

hey Mindy, I couldn't resist commenting on this. because it brought tears to my eyes. I've so been there. Camille yesterday in fact. I picked the twins up at lunch and went to McDonalds and never took them back. But so often I do have to look in their eyes and promise they will be okay. Then as I walk away hoping that nothing bad happens where I regret not letting them stay home. I've told Darlene to stay home and home school our kids. :) That would be noth'n but laughs and good times!!