Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Humbled


a few days ago i attended an aa meeting. a friend of mine needed to go and i was happy to tag along for support {and curiosity}. i'm not going to lie...there was some awkwardness and discomfort as we began walking towards the door. would we know anyone? would we be judged? is it just going to be plain weird? no, no, and no. from the moment we stepped foot in the room we were put at ease. it was the most nonjudgemental place i have ever been.

one by one, the people welcomed us. they introduced themselves. they shook our hands. they made us feel comfortable. the meeting began and we listened. we sat for an hour absorbing the words, the support, the celebrations. {two were celebrating anniversaries of sobriety...4 years and 26 years}. towards the end we gathered in small groups. i listened as they each shared their stories and how the fellowship of aa saved them. i was the last one in the circle. they were getting ready to wrap up when the group leader looked at me and said, "would you like to say something?" ummmm.... i knew if i started to talk i would also start to cry. i looked around the circle and warned them that i may cry. sure enough...within seconds i did. i told them i was humbled and awed to be in their presence. i was so moved by their strength and courage and i was crying for those in my life who never did what these people had the courage to do. we all stood, held hands, and said a serenity prayer. it was nice.

after the meeting, we went to dinner and spent most of the evening talking about the previous hour. we talked about the comfort we both felt, the complete feeling of humility, and the missing pressure of being judged. it made us both reflect on life and how simple it can and should be. we did not know a soul in that room. we didn't know which party line they voted for or what they thought of the world today, but they welcomed us with warm smiles. no questions. no judgements. no pity. not only did they welcome us, but they made sure we knew they would be there...any hour, any day...should my friend need them.

isn't ironic that these people, these strangers with problems i can't even imagine battling, brought me peace and comfort?