Monday, May 14, 2018

Motherhood

{yes. i was miss graham county. funny she used this picture}!

my almost 18 year old daughter posted this on her instagram.
i cried.
i didn't see it until i was going to bed. just as mother's day was coming to an end.

it had been a lovely day, but really...no different than any other day. they gave me some new nike clothes and we went to the dback game, but i still did laundry, begged cade to do homework, and took randi lunch at work. 
however.
you will not hear this mama complain. i won't complain because it was like most days and pretty much all of my days are good days. i have a great life with two amazing kids and the best husband i could ask for.

although every day is good {for the most part}, i still worry about everyday things, futures, health, decisions, grades, friends, the list goes on and on! and the older they get, the more i worry.
when my babies were little i was talking to a mom of teenagers. she had received a gift card for a pedicure and laughed because she would not have time to use it. i really laughed! i thought, "you crazy lady. your kids are teenagers. you have all the time in the world!" well, jokes on me. the older they get - the busier mom gets. you also sleep less with teens. those sleepless baby days are a walk in the park compared to the sleepless teen days. not only are you waiting up, you are filled with worry. even though you are trying to play it cool...every worst case scenario is playing out in your head. you hope and pray you have taught them well and given them all the tools to make the best decisions. {be kind. be smart. wear your seat belt. don't text and drive. don't drink and drive. don't try drugs. wear a condom. make the right choice}. you teach. you talk. you listen. you hope they are listening too.

so. back to the sweet words my daughter left for the social media world to see. because of her age and place in life, i worry about her more right now. not because she gives me reasons to worry. she has been a joy to raise. she is strong, independent, smart, kind...i marvel at her daily. i worry because she is getting ready to jump in to the world. i want the world to be kind to her. if she falls, i want her to have the strength and courage to get right back up. i want her to experience life and see the beauty in every day things. i want to make absolutely sure she is prepared to make tough choices {with good outcomes}.
and.
my heart rests a little easier today because of her words. i think she is ready. i have held her hand. i have taught her all i know. i have been open with difficult subjects. i have stressed the importance of being your own person and being true to yourself.  she gets it. she's ready. let's hope the world is ready for her!

now. 
i still have this little blue eyed thirteen year old to raise...
{right now i'm just trying to get him through the last 8 days of school}!