Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Happy (Busy) Heart

{Randi watching White Christmas}.
 How has it been ten days since I decided to reunite with my lovely blog? And write at least three times a week? I have been so busy. Blogging does cross my mind for a fleeting moment, but then I'm on to the next thing!
My days are so full. Happily, richly, gratefully full.
I continue to teach four regular classes a week. A position at Nordstrom has made me over the moon happy. One day a week I still volunteer at South Mountain. And. I still run this household and relish in being a wife and mom.

Randi has come back home for the holidays and I love it. The other day she suggested we have a baking day. So. Monday we put on Miracle on 34th Street, heated up the oven and baked and baked and baked!  {We may have both cried a little during the movie too. Who doesn't tear up a little when they shout out the news that Santa Claus is real}?!  We also watched a little Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney in White Christmas {love}.  We made sugar cookies. {Randi did the beautiful poinsettias}.  We also made fudge, candy, and peanut butter kiss cookies. It was such a fabulous day. I was exhausted by the time I went to bed, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world. My daughter is a pretty awesome person. I love being with her!

I feel like I'm behind on a few things, but everything will get done. And if it doesn't? Life will go on!

I will try and make an effort to find a few minutes to blog. I really need to document Hawaii, new job, volunteering, and every day life.  {I just received two hard cover books I ordered of my blog. I
 now have five books of my printed blog. What a great documentation of our life}!!

Until next time...

Monday, December 3, 2018

hello lovelies

ok. the break up is over.
i missed you, dear blogging world.

after sifting through years of posts and ordering printed books of all my online journaling...
i realized how much i have enjoyed it over the years and how great it will be for my children and future generations to have and read.

a few things have happened in the hot minute since i last wrote {over two months ago}. mr. c and i spent a week in maui. randi changed majors and moved dorms. cade grew. a lot! and, oh yeah, i had a mid life crisis and applied for about a million jobs and started working at one of them.

i know the suspense is killing you, but i will save all of that exciting news for upcoming posts. for now, i will tell you...i am still teaching my classes {as you can see above} and loving them. i am 100% in the christmas spirit and love waking up to my decorated home! our december weather is looking to be beautiful. cold, but not too cold and a little rain. just enough to wear cute boots and scarves and have a fire roaring in the fire place. winters in arizona may be one of the greatest things in the world.

happy, happy monday!

"every moment is a fresh beginning." - t. s. eliot

Friday, September 28, 2018

final thoughts

{paris 2012}

here we are. friday. the lovely weekend is upon us.
and with this "happy weekend" post comes lots of thoughts and a decision.
the decision? to take a break from blogging. maybe temporarily, maybe permanently. 
{i'm leaning towards permanently, but you never know...i may have a reunion. you know, like my date with wine after our break up}. why? i think i would rather document my life in a more private manner {journals and scrapbooks}.  would i come back to blogging in a different form? maybe. not sure how i feel right now. the whole social media phenomenon is annoying to me {and this falls in to that category}. don't get me wrong, social media has it's place in the world. i'm just not sure how much i want it to be in my world. this is not new thoughts or feelings for me. i have previously posted about my dislike for facebook, instagram, twitter...not my thing.

anyway. since this could be my last post i thought i would clear the air. share a few thoughts. get some things off my chest. say what i really want to say. {some of this has been said before}.
here it goes.

{la jolla 2017}

 hhhhmmmmm....where to start, where to start?

let's just start with the big guns, shall we?

yeah, it's not my thing and i do not believe in organized religion. however, to each their own. if it gets you through the day and brings peace to your heart - have at it. enjoy. but. don't try and save me. i'm good. i was raised in the mormon church, but had my name officially removed a few years ago. {that was an interesting experience. gives you everything you need to know to leave that institution. and when it was finally official, a man - who i didn't know - called to tell me it was official  and that i was losing the gift of the holy ghost at that very moment. as we spoke on the phone. true story. crazy town right there}. i have tried other churches, but it really does not bring peace to my heart. what does bring me peace? what is my church? the mountains, nature, my home, my family.

i am proud to be an american. i'm proud of my heritage. i'm proud to live in a country where i have the freedom to speak, salute, stand, kneel as i wish. athletes kneeling during the anthem? i fully support their peaceful display. {actually, kneeling is a respectful act. we kneel in prayer. we kneel in proposals. some kneel in a greeting}.  and you know what? it doesn't affect me at all. it is their life. their choice. government has no place telling a player what he should or shouldn't do during the anthem {or anyone else for that matter}.

i am pro-choice. my body, my choice. women should have have the right to make choices regarding their bodies and health. we do not know what is going on in a women's life for her to make such a difficult decision, nor is it our business to know. women are not having abortions as a form of birth control. i promise. it is a difficult decision. although i have never had one, i did lose two pregnancies that resulted in d & c's. it was a horrible, emotionally straining experience. after going through those losses and turning 40, i made the decision to have a tubal ligation. it was not an easy decision, but it was my decision. not long after, i had a woman question me and my ethics for making such a decision. it was wrong to mess with "god's plan". i don't need anybody judging me and i for sure as hell do not need some white man in power making a decision about my body.

it has already been said how much i support equality in love and marriage. this goes for bathrooms too. seriously. relieve yourself where you are comfortable. {i've been known to find an alley, bush, or tree that does the trick}! you be you and allow others to be who they are too. a transgender person using the restroom they identify with is not going to hurt you.

we are all human beings. we should be treated EQUALLY. men, women, people of all color and ethnicity,  gays, heterosexuals, transgenders...everyone. it's not that hard. just be kind. {and don't hide behind your god saying gay marriage will hurt your marriage or tell me you are not racist because you have a black friend. ridiculous statements}.

global warming.
it's real people. just look at the facts. listen to the scientist.
recycle. reuse. buy a reusable straw. use reusable bags. use less water. eat less meat.

we are all immigrants.
to separate children from their parents as they are trying to find a better life is despicable.
to treat people with such hate and disrespect is inexcusable.
i have written about this topic before and i still feel the same way. you can read that post here.

our president.
with every fiber of my being...i hate our president. and to be honest, feeling that way makes me sad, angry, and sick to my stomach. he is the most narcissistic, hateful, idiotic person. i think he is the epitome of power hungry and, even worse, he doesn't have a clue. he is a stupid person with power. {a dangerous combination}. his actions and words make me sick and i struggle to understand why anyone would support him. i have never felt this way about a president. i may have disagreed with beliefs, but i have never had such disrespect for a president as i do with this one.

he said, she said. who to believe? why did she wait so long before speaking about it? these are valid questions. however, studies show that most victims never come forward and if they do it takes time, strength, and courage.
seventeen years ago i found myself in the middle of a sexual harassment lawsuit. within that same year i also divorced, quit my job, moved, and started a new job...all with a one year old daughter. the sexual harassment mess was, hands down, the hardest thing i have ever endured. in my life.  the lawsuit was against my director who had stalked me and confessed his love to me. he wanted to run away with me. he gave me gifts and special treatment. i had documentation when i went to my human resource director. {before i get too far in this story i have to say i did not want to come forward. it was the hardest thing i have ever done. i came forward because my husband at the time threatened to do it if i didn't}. my HR director was female. she and i were the only females in management positions within this organization. she was shocked. she went to the city manager {a white male}. he in turn, called my husband since he was the man of the household. i am not kidding. he met with him before meeting with me. i was outraged and called him out on it. he finally called me in. he informed he would be handling the investigation himself and would not get the city attorney involved. {my position was within a municipality}. how this was allowed baffles me. he interviewed my coworkers, my boss, my husband and when he finally got to me he said, "if all of this really happened the way you said it did, i feel more would have happened." {sound familiar? trump tweeted something very similar regarding dr. ford}. ummm...what?! so because my boss didn't rape me i'm lying? yes. that is how he felt. i was lying because i had not been attacked by my boss. in the end, my boss had to write an apology to my husband. it was suggested that i move from my office in a beautiful historic building to a trailer with the public works department. my boss could remain in his office. he received a very small slap on the hand and i was ridiculed and down graded. of course women do not come forward. we are already dealing with this crap...why make it any worse?  my stomach is churning as i type this. this all must change. it has to. our sons and daughters must be raised to treat everyone with respect. our daughters have to know that when someone makes you feel uncomfortable, whether it's verbal or physical, they have to speak out. don't just smile or laugh it off like it's a compliment. it's not. if it makes you feel uncomfortable it is not just an innocent compliment or boys being boys. our boys must know how to talk to and treat girls. no means no. and speaking in a lewd, disgusting manner regarding females is not "locker room talk" as our president would have you believe. it is completely and utterly unacceptable. and when a woman does find the courage to come forward she should be heard, respected AND a proper investigation should take place. {yes, the FBI should be investigating the kavanaugh accusations}. you have no idea how hard it is to come forward unless you have been there. shame, fear, confusion, and remorse fill that person's soul.

it's stressful, exhausting, difficult, and the best responsibility in the world! i love being a mom. i love the heartache that comes with the rewards.
i believe in open communication and complete honesty with my children. we have had some raw conversations around the dinner table and i am grateful for every one...even the ones that made me choke on my asparagus.
i also believe in hooky days. {as we are having one today}! i saw this quote in the paper the other day and, well, it spoke to me...
"a child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -george santayana

happiness and kindness.
peanut butter and jelly. hand in hand. if you choose happiness you will share kindness. if you choose to be kind you will exude happiness. it's all a choice. my kids have heard this more times than they care to tell you. life is all about choices...make good ones. choose happiness. choose kindness. it really is that simple.

okay. i think that's it. of course i also believe in exercise and the power of being healthy. treat yourself right. have a good attitude and your day will be better. have a little fire in your soul.

i know there are those who completely disagree with me and that is fine. the beauty of this glorious world is we are all different with different beliefs. respecting our differences makes the world a better place. make love not war.

peace out.

Friday, September 21, 2018

weekend {fall} wishes

happy friday!
and. happy first weekend of fall!
fabulous, wonderful autumn officially starts tomorrow.
the temps are still in the 100's, but the pumpkins are coming out!
tonight i will cheer on mr. c at his play off game, but tomorrow? tomorrow the pumpkins and leaves and autumn spices will be filling my home!

the rest of the weekend will be filled with some classes, family time and a date with mr. c. {baseball date to be exact}!

it's been a good week. {although i thought it was friday for the past two days}!

  • i had two dates with girlfriends where i laughed and laughed and left them with my heart glowing.
  • i listened to my sweet girl excitedly talk about her major. {her new major. she is switching at semester}. it's a good thing. a great thing.
  • i have watched cade amaze us with his card tricks. he has some good ones that wow us!
  • i watched my new washer arrive then leave again because a plumber had to replace our valves. {insert boos and tears here}. plumber was here thirty minutes later, but they can't redeliver until next wednesday. {insert hysterical laughs and tears here}.
  • and finally, i have lots of thoughts about #metoo, our president, the kavanaugh hearings, his accuser...lots and lots of thoughts. however. i need to figure out how i want to articulate my thoughts and how much i want to say. stay tuned.  until then...
here's to a weekend filled with dancing fall leaves and scrumptious pumpkin spice!

Monday, September 17, 2018

weekend gone

it's monday.
monday night to be exact.
not only did i miss "weekend wishes" i even missed the day after!

thursday and friday i was busy making this little gem.  maybe not my best work, but i know it tasted delicious. my dear friend, lisa, always finds challenges for me in the baking arena. {actually, it's her little fireball daughter that finds things that take me outside my box}! a couple of years ago, she found a princess cake - five multi colored layers and a fondant dress. this year it was this unicorn cupcake cake. each of these multi colored cupcakes were filled with sprinkles. {i'm glad she has faith in me. i love baking for her}!

other news of the weekend...

mr. c won his baseball game.
asu lost their football game.
dbacks continue to lose. {i'm telling's because there is NO FIRE}!

we were childless saturday night and i had wine. {i know. i know. we - me and the wine - broke up, but we had a little date. it was nice}.
both of my cycle classes were fabulously fun!
we have a broken washing machine, so i went to the laundromat.
and. i liked it.
i have been binge watching "parenthood" and absolutely LOVE it.

temps are dropping!!! and i could not be more excited!
the hair sit still growing.

happy monday!

Monday, September 10, 2018


whew! we survived!

ok. it may have been my daughter rushing {not me}, but i felt every bit of nervousness and excitement!

i do not have any sisters...blood or sorority. {well, i do have two dear friends whom we refer to each other as sisters, but that's another story}. randi doesn't have any blood sisters either, but now she has a new forever group of sorority sisters.

since i did not pledge a sorority - this was a new experience for me too. and let me tell you...
it's tough. it's not for the faint of heart. it tests your dedication and nerves.
for six days you are narrowed down, voted on {or off}, talked about, judged and finally selected to your house. it's crazy! they tell the girls to trust the system and they mean it. by day three randi knew the house she really wanted  and that is the one she got. however, it's not the one she thought she wanted in the beginning. they really match the girl to the house. i'm pretty sure they have it down to a science!

randi never wanted to throw in the towel. even when the house she thought she really wanted dropped her...she kept her chin up and kept going. i, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck! i would wake up with knots in my belly. on the night she opened her envelope {the magical one announcing the house that wanted her} i was crossing every finger and toe and thinking the happiest, most wishful thoughts possible!  when she got dropped after the first round {everyone got dropped by some houses within the first two rounds} i suggested i head over there and tell them they are absolutely crazy not to vote on her. she is the best!! {randi didn't think that was such a good idea...go figure}.

i'm not sure i could have handled all of that at 18. {hell, i'm not sure i could at 45}! but randi? she is amazing with such an incredible self esteem. they are lucky to have her! and...she is lucky to have them. fun social events. life long friends. a true sisterhood.

Friday, September 7, 2018

weekend wishes

{my sanctuary}

happy, happy friday!!!
i am so glad it's friday. i am more excited for friday than the weekend.
today is the first day {in a very long time} i do not have anything scheduled.
nothing. nada. zilch.
i walked mia early and was showered and ready for the day before i took cade to school.
i have already been to the grocery store and folded laundry and it's not even 9 AM yet!
i just had my protein pancakes and enjoying my second cup of coffee.
life is good.

so what i am going to do with my free, unscheduled day?
i may read, or knit, or sew, or scrapbook, or maybe bake...
or make homemade soap. {yes, i really did buy the necessary items after getting sucked into the dark hole of pinterest}.
whatever i do, i will be doing it in my sanctuary... my happy place.
there is no place i would rather be. having a full day at home is dreamy to me!

i am a homebody and so are my kids and mr. c. my heart grows when everyone is home. i love that they enjoy our home as much as me. it's a safe, happy place full of love.

this weekend will be pretty mellow. i have a few classes to teach. we may catch a dback game. we may watch smokey and the bandit in honor of burt reynolds {who passed away yesterday}. we may soak up some sunshine. we may just enjoy our sanctuary.
who knows! sometimes unplanned, unscheduled is the best.

here's to a weekend of time spent in your happy place...your sanctuary!