Friday, October 1, 2010

My Week...

had a dr.'s appt.  just a follow up. and, i cried.  i could feel the emotions creeping out of my heart as soon as i entered the building.  not sure why...thought i was fine.  my doctor said i was problems and my emotions were normal.  as i left, i held the elevator for a young couple.  he was clutching a shiny black and white ultrasound picture in his hand.  it's a boy.  i walked out to my car.  got in. and really cried.  called mr. c and tried {to no avail} to help him understand why i was having a break down.  {i didn't even get it.}
got on the freeway.  a mean trucker flipped me off {for no reason}.  so, i flipped the bird right back.  grouchy man.
i stopped by mr. c's office...where i received lots of hugs and kisses.
then i went shopping.  and just like magic i began to feel better.  the sharp, knife stabbing pain in my shoulder blade went away. 

spent the day at biztown with randi.  loved it!
and, her cute fashion ensemble was purchased the day before...during my mental health shopping trip.
i bought the entire outfit {from head to toe} for $20. 

went on a nice long run.  felt good...except for the pain i have in my left hip.
took the kids to a new trampoline gym.  we jumped and jumped.  i was showing off a little...old cheer moves.
enjoyed dinner and wine at home with mr. c.
went on a nice family bike ride after dinner.

went on a nice long walk.  {hip is still hurting.}
decorated the house for fall.  we have pumpkins, leaves, and cobwebs everywhere.  now...if i could just get the weather to drop below 100 degrees.
enjoyed a night out with mr. c and the kids.  we dined on teppinyaki {the fire restaurant}, where i watched an elderly man down two bottles of saki.

kidnapped my sweet nephew for a few hours.  {i needed a fix.}  enjoyed cinnamon bagels and blueberry bagels with him.  he kept saying, "this is really good, mindy."  as we were enjoying our morning snack an 84 year old woman {she shared her age} stopped to say, "you may not realize it now...but, these are the best of times for you.  and, be sure and take care of your teeth.  i still have all mine!"
we ran a few errands and then went home to make chocolate chip cookies.  {that was my bribe for getting him to leave his daddy that morning...cookies.}
took him home.  picked my kids up from school. went to the halloween store.  bought cade's costume {a police officer}. and spent the afternoon/evening playing with and talking to neighbors.

and now...the weekend.  we have hair appointments {randi is getting a little makeover}, purse parties,
sleep overs, and lots! fun!
{little e savoring the goodness of our work...while being a little mesmerized by mickey mouse.}


The Richardson's said...

I felt the exact same way when I went to my doctor's appointment after my miscarriages.

I remember going in for some blood work and sitting in the office waiting for them to call me back and this girl, and I mean GIRL, was sitting there with her equally young boyfriend like 7 months pregnant. I was so mad at her. I didn't even know her and I was mad at her. All I could think was why does this young girl get to have a baby and I don't??? I still even get mad when I see women who are near the end of their pregnancies because all I can think is "that is what I should look like right now. I should be huge and getting ready to deliver and welcome my baby into the world."

I had several breakdowns in my car, in the doctors office, anywhere. I was actually mad when the doctor told me I was completely normal and had no problems. I mean- if there was nothing wrong- then me having 2 miscarriages was "by accident"..."by chance"...this did not sit well with me. If something was wrong- I could work to fix it.

Then I was mad at myself for being so stupid. I should have been thrilled that everything was fine. But I just could not be content with that news.

I don't have any good advice for you. I am pregnant again and every second of everyday I constantly worry to the point of panic attacks that something will go wrong. I cannot even enjoy being pregnant. I am hoping that time will continue to make things better.

I hope things get better for you too. It really just sucks. I am sorry. Just know that you are not alone.

Love, Mindy said...

Thank you for sharing all of that! That is exactly how I feel...I'm almost afraid to get pregnant...constant fear.
I will keep you in my thoughts and hope you get to a point where you can enjoy this time.

Tiffany said...

Mindy-I feel for you. And about that mean trucker: they flip me off every now and then, but I would never flip 'em back!! I just look atthem and smile, sometimes even wave. That is actually more annoying than the return-flip. Love you sweet girl. tiff