Monday, August 15, 2016

the stay home mom

i'm not sure when i knew i wanted to be a stay home. not when i was a teen. not when i was a college student. and, definitely not when i was working, degree in hand, ready to conquer the world.  but, then i had these sweet babies and married an amazing man who supported the stay home mom or the working girl...whatever i wanted to do. so, i {nervously} jumped ship and haven't looked back.


well, maybe i've looked back a few times. you know, the inevitable "what ifs" that pop in to your head.

when i was a young{er} mom, it seemed practical. i was home so they did not have to go to daycare. we had play dates, visits to the library, trips to the zoo and made homemade play dough.

but, things change. they get older. one is in school full time then, both are in school full time. before you know it, they are driving themselves to school.

now, what do i do?!

i have to admit. i don't like being asked what i do {for a living}. when i was carrying a baby or had a toddler at my leg, there was a little more sense of pride saying i stay home. {hidden message: i have made this great sacrifice to put my life on hold so, i can be with my babies all day}.


when someone asks me what i do and i reply that i'm a stay home mom, the next question is always, "oh! good for you! how old are you kids?"
uummmm... "12 and 16".
i immediately feel judged. the question they really want to ask is, "so, what do you do all day?"

well...i work out. i volunteer at their schools {although, even that is waning as they get older}. i do laundry. i make sure the house is clean. i plan menus. and, i am here...which means, i'm there for them at a moment's notice.

with the start of this school year, i have felt a bit lost. i need and want an outlet but, i really do not want a big commitment. i don't want to punch a clock {so to speak}. i thought about going back to teaching {as a fitness instructor}. with over 20 years of experience, i have held that job and credentials longer than any other. {and, i have had A LOT of jobs}. but, again, i'm not sure i want that commitment.

recently, i was talking to a friend about possibly returning to the teaching world but, my hesitation was my family. i sarcastically said that they are spoiled and always want me available.
and, he said to me: "is that such a bad thing? it could be the other way around and it won't be that way forever."

ok. way to put things in perspective for me.

i finally came clean with mr. c about my feelings of "lostness".
he calmly said, as he has told me before, that he supports whatever i want to do but, make sure it is what i really want to do AND, once i make a decision...attack it.

i have decided to test my entrepreneurial skills.
i recently became a stella & dot stylist. you can shop with me here. {lovemindy styles}
i have secured some weekly baking jobs. {lovemindy bakes}.
and, i will be opening an etsy shop in the fall with upcycled creations. {lovemindy sews}.

changes will be made with the blog...but, be patient. these are skills i'm learning and i'm trying to break the saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"!!!

i'm very excited about this chapter of life and look forward to the rest of the book!!

*note: after writing this, i was talking with a friend who is a mom and works outside of the home. in no way is this post about working moms vs. stay at home moms. it is nothing more than my confused thoughts on being a stay home mom of kids who are not at home. 
we are equals. we are in this together. we are all women trying to be our best selves...whether we are single or married; have eight kids or none; stay home, rock the corporate world, or wait tables...we are one. we will break the barriers and ceilings together. and. figure out what the hell we are supposed to be doing. be happy.

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