Monday, February 19, 2018


Today I am 45. Forty-five. Cuarenta y cinco. Wow.
For some reason it sounds much older than 44.

I was going to take some fabulous pictures. You know...get a blow out {because who doesn't feel better with a blow out}, hold big metallic 4 and 5 balloons, and wear a new Nike outfit...cute sports bra and compression pants. My whole theme was going to be "look at me at 45!" Then I decided I would be annoyed if I saw that. Super annoyed. So...I decided to go for the raw look and the raw reality of 45. {A selfie after running/hiking in the wind did just the trick}.

Although I can't believe I'm 45, I'm happy to be another year older. Happy to be a part of this great adventure. Each year just gets better and better.

At 45 I'm physically stronger than I have ever been. {I can do pull ups now and back squat 165 lbs.}! I'm stronger mentally and find it much easier to say no. {Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments}. I can walk away from things or people that I don't want to be around. I find it easier to voice my opinion. {I still struggle a little because I never want to hurt someone's feelings}. I don't hesitate to question things and search to find the right answer. I am confident and like the person I am.

At 45 I know the importance of a firm handshake and eye contact. I know just how far a smile and positive comment can go. A person's entire day can be changed with a little kindness and it takes such  little effort to be kind and friendly. 
I know there is so much more to life than where you live, what car you drive, your job, your bank account, what great thing your kid did, or what size jeans you wear. And I know that everyone has a story...and it's different than mine.

At 45 I love my body more than ever. Not because it's better, different, stronger...but because it's healthy. {This is huge coming from a person who struggled with eating disorders for years}! I also know and accept the fact that age brings changes. Wrinkles around my eyes, leaky bladder, different metabolism, hot flashes...oh the joy!

At 45 I'm happy. I can roll with the tide. There is little that shocks me. 
Although I still have so much to learn I also know that I have more than a handful of "been there, done that" experiences and I have grown from each of them. I hope I am a good example to my babies {teenagers} and they can learn from my moments, as well as experience their own. 
I'm confident and am always willing to try and learn something new. I haven't always been this way and it feels amazing to have the confidence to be me!

At 45 I say, "eat the cupcake, laugh until you cry, skip the laundry and go for a hike, be a good listener, and smile at the haters!"

I am incredibly grateful for my life. The ups, the downs...even the sideways. 
I adore the beautiful man I married and my two babies fill my heart with pride and joy. {And my little furry baby makes every day warm and fuzzy}!

Happy birthday to me! May the year be filled with new adventures and lots of love and kindness.
{What else do you need in life}?

"You don't have to move mountains, simply fall in love with life.
Be a tornado of happiness, gratitude, and acceptance.
You will change the world just by being a warm, kind hearted human being."
-Anita Krizzan